


Conflicting

by Sonzaishinai



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Also gamzee is a neglient moirail, F/M, Gamzee is kinda disorganized in the head here, Karkat is just an oblivious fuck thats all, M/M, Messed up mind, Midnight writing, Moirails, Sober Gamzee, Sober Gamzee Makara, Swearing, moirailligence, well sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 14:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10596375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonzaishinai/pseuds/Sonzaishinai
Summary: He's precious to you and yet the thought of him sends your mind into a turmoil.He messes with you internally and has you clutching at strings,desperate,whilst he remains oblivious to what he does to you.You don't know what parts to him and yourself are the ones you hate or love anymore.It all just leaves you in pieces.----An experimental insight of the ongoings within Gamzee's mind sometime after having become Karkat's moirail.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [THE STRUCTURE OF THIS WRITING IS SOMEWHAT CONFUSING SO READ THIS NOTE BEFORE PROCEEDING]
> 
> This was a quick midnight writing made primarily for the purpose of possibly displaying the turmoil that ensues within the mind of our ever so confusing psycho clown.That and it was a way to finally start off and use this account.
> 
> I based the writing style primarily off of experiences upon which I felt torn between two people whilst one dominated and took a hold of my lifestyle aka all the time.Thus,such experiences came to build the choppy writing that's in this,topics repetitively switching,related little to nothing in a way to the paragraphs prior.I wouldn't,however,place these experiences as accurate ongoings within the minds of those that are often conflicting,for I myself know not of such things.
> 
> Furthermore,once again,this writing was started and completed at midnight to provide more of a chopped up,disorganized effect,for at said time,I'm usually a complete internal disaster of emotions.
> 
> Anyways,yeah.This was,once more,just a brief experimental oneshot based around our clown so go ahead and think whatever you desire of it.Have a nice day.

Cold metal ringed about you,unwelcoming to the touch however not fazing you in any way.At least not physically.You loathed it like you loathed that teal blooded bitch.Loathed it,for it provided not the warmth you desired.Loathed it,for it reminded you ever so constantly of what you couldn’t motherfucking have.

It troubled you again.It always went back to him,back to that fucking mutant but mirthful fucking messiahs,you pitied him to the depths of the motherfucking ocean and back.Chaotic,conflicting,that’s all it ever has been with him.He throws your thoughts and emotions into a turmoil.Has you pulling at strands just trying to fix yourself.One mess from another and it always revolves around him.

Him.Yes,him.You peek past what little bars you’re capable of laying your oculars through.Fucking nuisances.Depriving you of what you demand,what you fucking want.Yet,simultaneously,you pay no mind.It tears you into two,bits and pieces intermixing.However,the sight of him...calms you.Calms and angers you with calm being the primary emotion.The dominant...dominant,yes,like you,you’re the dominant and capable of controlling yourself,yes...control yourself you shitwad excuse for a fucking messiah.

Peering downwards into the room below,you spy grey.Grey upon grey upon up and motherfucking grey.It brings a snarl to your face,the dullness of it all.An itching feeling manifests at your fingertips and blood’s all that you can think of.Cover the entire place,leave not an inch untouched by the blood of...your friends.

But certainly not your best friend.Anyone but your best friend.Fragile,too fragile.Glass better left untouched,ridden of prints from the motherfucking rotten.Can’t touch him,shouldn’t touch him.Don’t touch him,you have no fucking right.Not you,not anyone.No one’s worth a finger upon his flesh,nothing near that which he hides underneath.Not his fucking secrets,not a single fucking one to let loose lest someone wants to up and motherfucking walk around headless.Not your problem,certainly not yours,so long as no one fucking breaks your precious little pale brother.

But you know best for him,don’t you?You’re his moirail,his anchor,the highblood,the dominant.You know what’s good for him,you should be allowed to touch him as he should be honored to receive touch from you.

Movement from within the room pulls you from your thoughts.Squirming,you soon realize once you recognized the movement not to be a threat.Karkat.Shit,you fucking forgot he was still up and there,you getting lost in your own self.How could you fucking let your chucklevoodoos slip out and wrap around that sweet little mind of his...that ever so vulnerable thing.

You honestly don’t know what sickens you more.The jealousy brewing within you or the hateful emotions of being around your own little beloved.Jealousy from not having been the one to control the little motherfucking laughsassins of darkness consuming your brother’s thinkpan and hatred instinctually embedded into the depths of your ancestral dominance of the hemospectrum’s upper end.You believe it to be both.It sickens you,blending with the jealousy and hatred and worsening it.What else would a dipshit highblood like you expect,functioning solely on liquified shit for nutrition throughout a lengthy epoch of your lifespan?That you’d feel miraculous all the time?Motherfucking hilarious.

You bring your attention towards your moirail once more,visions of digging into that oh so warm fucking flesh and using that sweet elixir underneath to paint the walls.You twitch and spasm momentarily.

Maybe you should leave your sweet sugar alone for a while...a little longer wouldn't hurt,after all,right?

**Author's Note:**

> [IF THE STORY WAS CONFUSING IN ITS STRUCTURE,I RECOMMEND YOU READ THIS NOTE SINCE YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T READ THE ONE IN THE BEGINNING]
> 
> This was a quick midnight writing made primarily for the purpose of possibly displaying the turmoil that ensues within the mind of our ever so confusing psycho clown.That and it was a way to finally start off and use this account.
> 
> I based the writing style primarily off of experiences upon which I felt torn between to people whilst one dominated and took a hold of my lifestyle aka all the time.Thus,such experiences came to build the choppy writing that's in this,topics repetitively switching,related little to nothing in a way to the paragraphs prior.I wouldn't,however,place these experiences as accurate ongoings within the minds of those that are often conflicting,for I myself no not of such things.
> 
> Furthermore,once again,this writing was started and completed at midnight to provide more of a chopped up,disorganized effect,for at said time,I'm usually a complete internal disaster of emotions.
> 
> Anyways,yeah.This was,once more,just a brief experimental oneshot based around our clown so go ahead and think whatever you desire of it.Have a nice day.


End file.
